this had made everything in life so true
This won’t make much sense.
A basement. Figure Four. A band. A request. Farewell. A message. A visit. A meet up. Gifts. A mutual connection. Some (possibly drunken) words. A friendship.
For the last couple of years, I’ve felt at home the most with you and you haven’t even been here. A friendship blossomed at the wrong time; a little too late. Our up front beliefs pushed me away and I never wanted to even think about possibly becoming interested and I never have thought too much into it. There was a day when I realized something beautiful and I let you know. I told you that there was something about you that made me feel really happy, something that just put me in this real comfortable spot. I was so happy to tell you this and I said those three words for the first time. At that moment, I didn’t even care what the response would be. I was just so thankful for that feeling. I looked down at my phone and read something along the lines of “dude, me too! I feel the same about you.”
There are things I play over and over in my head and usually, the first few times I go back to a memory, I find something new. The night in the basement when a cover was about to be played, I clapped with excitement (among the whole other 5 people in the crowd), I saw you looking over at me from the corner of my eye. It was like I felt a spark, so weird. Long hair and a flannel…in the middle of summer. This band talked to me in the parking lot for a good hour or so and they mentioned your name. A while before that, I had heard your name when I dropped off a mutual friend that was visiting from TX. And now that I think about it, I might’ve had dropped him off at your place. The night after that basement show, I was driving home and got a FB request. A couple of months passed and words were never exchanged. I clearly remember reading about your cross country move and if anyone wanted to hang out. I liked that status with hopes of someone in this new city taking the time to actually hang out with me. Didn’t happen.
I was laying on my floor, regretting so much and on the verge of tears…times were so bad for me at that moment. then a random little box popped up. I don’t think I had ever been so excited to here that little bubble pop noise. A conversation about music, shows and how much I missed home made me forget about everything else.
After that night, conversations were a bit more common. There was this time that I received a text from you randomly while I was visiting home. You said something about wanting to visit my hometown and get to know where I’m from. I don’t think I had ever gotten those kind of butterflies. Not sappy “omg I like you” butterflies but the kind you get from something unexpected. It ruled.
The meet up. I’m a very nervous being as it is but I just wanted to puke. This person that had become somewhat of my sanity was finally going to embrace me with their arms for a few seconds. I regret being as awkward as I was and so quiet both times i saw you. Even now, we don’t talk often but there is this home-y vibe you continue to provide me with. It’s this weird comfort zone.
Something/someone happened out of the blue. I was so skeptical about it all. I never brought it up because I felt so uncomfortable about it but they had. When I asked what you had said, their response was “he said to be careful. You’re a sweet girl. What does he mean by that?” I couldn’t help but laugh. I don’t know what he meant by that, I don’t know what YOU meant by that. When things were over (shortly after they had just begun) I let it slip. I told you about my heart aching so bad because of your friend. The words that were said that night still pop back in my head from time to time but I refer back to you drinking that night. That wasn’t you talking, that was the beer.
From the moment I saw you from the corner of my eye until now, you’ve kept me sane. This weird friendship we have has been one of my favorites. I couldn’t thank you enough for saying the right things these last couple of years; not too many words but all the ones that matter. You’ve given me such a beautiful thing with minimal interactions.You no longer have one of these silly blogs but in case you’re lurking, haha.
I’ll be seeing you in a few weeks! Can’t wait :) I love you.
Chokebore//The Perfect Date
This is enlightenment, you are the lamb. Kiss, kiss
Le Temps De L’amour;
this is the time of love
time buddies and adventure
when the time comes and goes
can not think of anything
despite his injuries
After a 20-minute flight over the city of New York, Stephen Wiltshire, diagnosed with autism, draws the whole town with only his memory.
That is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen
I remember seeing a doc about him but he was much younger in it! Its so cool to see him pop up again and grown.
My cousins the best at snapchat and you can’t convince me otherwise
I am done.
i laugh out loud to this everytime
Its been one of those longer nights. The kind of night that you can’t shut your mind off. “It’s complicated” replays over and over and months, even years later, you still have no idea what was so complicated. Your self esteem goes out the door along with any bit of remaining faith you had for a shot at a relationship with someone. You think about what you didn’t do right or what you didn’t do at all to keep them happy. Its one of those nights that you wonder why you can’t be cared for in return by the someone you gave your heart to.
IT’S ALSO A PRETTY DAMN GOOD EYEBROW NIGHT. WHO’S TRYNA KISS