I don’t post often anymore. I’ve been well, really well. As always, new lessons have been learned and new ways of looking at certain things.
1.) I continue to be bitter but I realized why. I’ve fallen hard two different times…2009 and the most recent was August ‘13. Yes, the worst of the worst feelings ever. My heart was completely shattered both times. But I’ve come to the conclusion that it wasn’t 100% over the fact that I wasn’t enough but because I lost two people I connected with on levels that I never have with anyone else, both happened rather quickly as well. The first and only time I fell in love was with a best friend. After our “fling” ended, our friendship was never the same. It took a whole 3 years to get over that and quit getting sucked back into the game. The second…it was so quick that I’m not even sure how it all built up so rapidly and crumbled down even faster.
I am one that hates to lose friends and having had lost two people that made me laugh over the silliest things, made silence seem beautiful and provided me with comfort…completely heartbreaking. I wish the absolute best for both but losing friends is one of the lowest feelings.
2.) Being a people pleaser is a tough business. When you make one person happy, you’re tearing someone else apart. This includes talking undecently about someone to make someone else feel better. I’m not big on belittling others whatsoever. Before I’d just let it go through one ear and out the other. Now I’m calling everyone out on their shit that tries to talk badly about others…no longer keeping my mouth shut.
3.) Along with #2…everyone has a story; listen to others. People are so quick to judge. I personally love hearing everything about everyone’s lives…not because I’m nosy but I’m genuinely interested in knowing who people are. If you’re too busy jumping to conclusions and making assumptions, you’re missing out on something better: the truth.
A lot of writing, whatever. No one even reads this shit if its not a picture of nutella, a burrito or pizza anyway.
I continue to be super thankful of this life and everyone in it. To those I lost, I wish I could have you back…you’re very missed.
I’ve wasted enough space of your dash by writing this. Good night.